


History Gets the Story All Wrong

by Drag0nst0rm



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Awkward Family History, Fantastic Racism, Friendship, Gen, Mentioned Annatar, Though not from any of the main characters, Writing in the Margins, history books
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 04:10:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17974229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drag0nst0rm/pseuds/Drag0nst0rm
Summary: Narvi is somewhat offended by one of Celebrimbor's history books.Naturally, the solution is to write in corrections.





	History Gets the Story All Wrong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VioletaAsh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletaAsh/gifts).



> I don't own the Silmarillion.
> 
> This fic was prompted by violetablood on Tumblr, who wanted Celebrimbor, Narvi, fake academia, and snark.

_For the Naugrim are a stunted race, unloved by the Valar, and added only as a hasty afterthought to the music. Their history reflects this with its obsession with material wealth -_

To the honorable Lord Celebrimbor: Thank you for the kind invitation to use your library. I was pleased to see you possessed a large selection of texts on my people. I do, however, have a small comment to make on the selections. Namely: _What._ \- Narvi

To the honorable Narvi - My sincere apologies. That particular book was a gift from someone in Gil-Galad’s court upon my departure. I’m not sure he’s even met any of your people. I probably should have looked through the book before putting it in the library. Since it has proved to be so offensive, I’ll have it removed. - Celebrimbor

Don’t worry about it. Now you have an _annotated_ copy. - Narvi

 

_King Thingol was cruelly set upon by the avaricious dwarves, who, desiring the treasure, had conspired to steal it away despite the honorable contract he had offered -_

**He called them the stunted ones to their faces and then refused to pay them! They had every right to reclaim their work after that!**

**Killing him went a bit far, fine, but don’t act like he came out of this pure as Mahal’s gold.**

 

To the honorable Lord Celebrimbor - Upon reflection, I realize that my actions were perhaps out of line and that they certainly failed to give the proper respect to your personal library. Please accept my apology for the desecration of your book, which is a valuable repository of words ~~even if the words themselves are utter trash.~~ \- Narvi

To the honorable Narvi - Please don’t apologize. I think you’ve much improved it. I noticed, however, that you only attended to certain chapters. If you have the time and inclination, I would very much enjoy seeing your thoughts on the rest. 

And you can drop this “honorable lord” business. Call me Celebrimbor, please. 

 

_The naugrim were carved from stone, and so they love the cold treasures of the earth more than even their own kin._

At this point, I think he’s just trying to be offensive. - N

Knowing the author, I’m almost certain it wasn’t intentional. He’s just very … clueless. - C

 

_The elves, not realizing that such creatures could possibly be sentient, at first hunted the petty dwarves._

How do you NOT REALIZE that someone wearing clothes is a person? - N

I have no idea. We didn’t hear about the incident until a couple of decades after it happened. I think the Sindar didn’t want to give up their moral high ground by admitting to it. ~~At least that’s what my father~~ That’s what Prince Curufin always said. - C

… I keep forgetting that you actually lived through all this stuff. _You_ should write a book. - N

These days I barely have time to _read._ Ruling a city is terrible, I have no idea why anyone tries to get in charge of one. - C

They’ve been bothering you in the forge again, haven’t they? Want me to come sharpen my axe down there and glare at them? - N

They need to be able to come to me. It’s important, I know that … but your offer is very, very tempting. - C

 

_The naugrim naturally formed alliances with one much like themselves: Caranthir the Cruel, one whose heart was also bent on treasure over kin, to the point of bloodshed._

Look, I don’t mean to pry, but that device in the image there looks a lot like your emblem. Are these … your people? - N

Yes. No. It’s complicated. - C

 ~~Uncle~~ Prince Caranthir - He didn’t think much of your people at first, but I think he liked them better than most elves by the end. He wasn’t cruel. Harsh, sometimes, too quick to speak, but he was never deliberately cruel. Please believe that. - C

I don’t doubt you for a minute. We’ve already established that this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. The more I read, the more I want to introduce my axe to his skull. - N

 

_Thus Nargothrond was claimed and made anew for the beloved Prince Finrod. Later it would also house his lamented brother, Prince Orodreth, and Prince Orodreth’s tragically short lived daughter, Finduilas, as well as the future High King Gil-Galad. More ominously, it would house three of the dread Feanorians, Curufin, Celegorm, and Celebrimbor, only one of which ever found some measure of redemption._

That’s you. - N

Yes. - C

And he gave this to you as a gift? - N

Yes. - C

And he didn’t even have the wit to insult you _accurately?_ \- N

Wait, what? - C

I hate to break this to you, laddie, but the only thing dread about you is your breath after a feast night. And possibly the way you snore when you fall asleep while we’re working on plans. Or - 

[The rest is written over by Lord Celebrimbor’s next note.]

Thank you, Narvi. I get your point. Really. - C

 

_Thus ends my account of Aule’s so called children._

Hey, this guy lives in Lindon, right? - N 

Narvi, no. - C

What? I just want to talk. Maybe get him to the sign the book. - N

Narvi … - C

In his blood. - N

That’s what I was afraid of. NO. - C

Come on! It’s like that Annatar guy’s been saying: You need to have a little fun. - N

I’m pretty sure another kinslaying wasn’t what he had in mind. - C

**Author's Note:**

> As someone pointed out, it's not kinslaying if Narvi does it. Celebrimbor, however, is absolutely certain that it'll get pinned on him, and he's not going there again.


End file.
